bedroom acoustic

2011-01-15T20:42:00.001+08:00

It's never too late to start anew.

http://najibrazannisa.blogspot.com/

2010-05-16T00:47:00.003+08:00

Upcoming Performances

150410 - Causeway Point

300410 - MCYS

230510 - CHIJ Toa Payoh

130610 - Hwi Yoh CC

200610 - Lompang Road Link House

260610 - Causeway Point (Avenue Six)

270610 - First Toa Payoh Secondary School

270610 - Mayflower Mall

030710 - North Spring Primary School

040710 - Sengkang Swimming Complex

110710 - Bukit Batok Swimming Complex

170710 - Henderson Road

310710 - East Point Mall

070810 - Tampines Central Park

The Classroom Song

2010-04-29T09:30:00.003+08:00

We're shaping our own future

And we are here to learn

We are here to learn from you

So what if everything's against us?

We will make it through

Through the cracks we'll make it through

Take this opportunity to shine

We're made of something

Take this opportunity to shine

We're waiting for something right

Waiting for something right yeah

Waiting for something right

Waiting for something bright yeah.

Will you lead us once again?

Cause we remember

How you used to make a stand and make a statement

We understand, we understand, we understand and we know

We understand, we know that

This is our destiny.

Changes.

2010-04-12T20:02:00.003+08:00

When I first knew you, you were such an easy-going, grounded person. Now you are nothing but a dignified, stuck up b*tch.

Gift from Heaven

2010-04-03T22:16:00.003+08:00

I got a gift from heaven without the angel wings.
Yeah she smiles, when she smiles, she smiles just like you.

I got a gift from heaven nicely wrapped in pink.
When she cries, when she cries, she cries just like me.

Flip the page yeah, it's all about you.
Sing this song now, it's all about you.
Yeah don't be afraid, don't be afraid
You're not alone, you're not alone when I am home.

I've seen a million sunsets but nothing seems as bright.
When you crawl, when you crawl, you crawl in front of me.

I got a gift from heaven - the cure to my pain.
She smiles, yeah she smells, she smells just like you.

On My Knees

2010-03-28T23:52:00.001+08:00

A song about repentance.

Tell me more about your plans
For awhile I was out of faith
Situation's out of hand
And all I did was hate

Fighting for my life's survival
Cut my tongue for heaven's sake
Kicked me out of my addiction
And I will never break

And I'm down, down on my knees
And I'm down, down on my knees
And I need, I need you to be there for me
I need you to be.

I'm afraid of my reflections

For I've sinned with these blood-stained hands.

Take away all my faults and weakness,

and fill me up with strength.

Lie

2010-02-08T17:06:00.004+08:00

Dark clouds hang above my head

And then my eyes burn, and all I see is red

You know my heart is turning cold, and I need someone to hold

But it's not you. It's not you.

Guess what? I've thrown away your letters

And I throw the dice, I think you're out of luck

And out of reach and out of hope

If you need someone to hold

But it's not me. It's not me.

I pretend that I'm not leaving, then I turn my back away

I don't really care how you feel.

Tell me how to live and tell a lie

Cos I look much stronger than I ever seem inside

I'm dying, I'm dying to see you broken and I wanna see you weak.

I don't give a damn how you feel.

Tell me how to leave and live a lie

Cos I look much stronger than I ever seem inside

I'm dying, I'm dying when you're broken but it's getting hard to fix.

And I still give a damn how it is.

2010-02-06T23:34:00.001+08:00

everything i see/know is just so typical of you.. i'm not surprised it will turn out this way.

A Song So You

2010-01-25T10:48:00.002+08:00

Hey baby, how are you?

Did you get up on the wrong side of your bed?

Quit playing with your cellphone and don't complain your battery's dead.

I think you're too engrossed with Facebook and you're blogging far too much.

But I'm afraid if I knock it off your head, you won't.

You won't remember me.

Hey baby, don't bite me.

Cause you remind me of your dad.

I love it when you're jealous, so full of angst when you are mad.

You say I'm too obsessed with how I look and I'm eating far too much.

But I'm afraid if I knock it off your head, you won't.

You won't remember me.

Dammit.. How Cute..

2010-01-24T12:09:00.002+08:00

It's cute the way you hate me.

And how you're so full of angst against everything, there's probably nothing left to hate but me?

The way you sit behind your laptop, waiting for things to happen but nothing ever really gets done. How you're so engrossed in all the things you can't have that you forgot all about what we're left with..

2010-01-21T19:19:00.000+08:00

Firefly

2010-01-12T22:47:00.006+08:00

Firefly, you're burning brightly in the dark blue sky.

Let's hide away, children singing underneath the stars.

Can you see me from over there?

Can you feel the pain that I'm trying to bear?

What if I died in your arms?

Well find a way. Find a way.

Do you see me in your dreams?

No more love songs or ones that heal.

Cause I'm still bleeding but I'm trying hard to live.

I don't feel right here.

Firefly, once again you're just a tiny spark.

Long ago, you light the streets with little rays of love.

Can you see me from over there?

Can you feel the pain that I'm trying to bear?

What if I died in your arms?

Well find a way. Find a way.

Do you see me in your dreams?

No more love songs or ones that heal.

Cause I'm still bleeding but I'm trying hard to live.

I don't feel right here.

Do you see me in your dreams?

No more love songs or ones that heal.

Cause I'm still right here but I don't know how to give.

But I'm still right here.

2010-01-08T23:13:00.001+08:00

I FEEL LIKE SHIT. AND I NEED TO VOMIT.

2009-11-15T07:32:00.002+08:00

I have nightmares each time you do that.

Logan

2009-11-03T15:14:00.005+08:00

I'm breathing softly.

Once again, I'm heading for the kill.

You whisper to me through the wind.

I'm made of courage.

Look inside. A man of hate and steel.

I can feel you in the sky.

What if I melted under the sun, will you change the weather?

So I can go on.

They'll be the victims if I can't hold on

For one we are not the same as everyone.

2009-11-02T00:15:00.003+08:00

I can't do much from where I am.

And I'm sorry I can't give you as much support as I wanted to.

I hope all is well.

And I hope it rains tonight..

Hero for a Day

2009-10-29T13:05:00.003+08:00

Stop staring at me cause it hurts to see you go.

But we didn't even say goodbye on the day you left me crashing down.

Do you remember? How I used to make you whole.

Can't you see I'm bent and broken now and my hands are turning cold.

We're made of glass, a million pieces.

A hundred miles is all we need.

If I could save you, I would be anywhere but here.

If I could see you for one more day.

If I could save you, I would do anything for this.

If I could see you for one more day.

I'll be your hero for a day.

Barely surviving, you don't even think it's fair.

Why am I still holding on to you? I don't know if you still care.

Let's seize the moment, let's just run away and hide.

You said, "Baby come and rescue me. You don't even have to try."

Another English Lesson.

2009-10-25T07:15:00.002+08:00

We could be so much more.

We could have been so much more.

What is the difference between these two sentences?

Answer: While the first sentence suggests potential, hope or possibility, the second sentence is retrospective - focusing on how much could actually have been achieved, acquired or built should certain conditions are met.

Half a year has passed and I'm still hanging on.

Half a year has passed and I'm still holding on.

Half a year has passed and I'm still clinging on.

What is the difference between these three?

Cookies and Cream.

2009-10-24T09:47:00.002+08:00

Why are you acting like an idiot?

You're like drugs. You messed me up but I keep coming back for more.

Wtf..

And why are old aunties staring at me?

An English Lesson

2009-10-20T19:46:00.005+08:00

Active Vs. Passive Sentence.

Mr. N is teaching Jessica Lee.

Jessica Lee is being taught by Mr. N.

Would you rather be Mr. N or Jessica?

*taught in the 2nd sentence is not to be confused with the simple-past tense of 'teach'. It is a participle.

My Soliloquy

2009-10-17T00:16:00.004+08:00

i see how i serve no purpose in your life anymore..

it's been three months. how time flies..

i freaking miss you and no matter who i am with, it doesn't feel the same as when i'm with you.

what do you expect me to do? you pulled the trigger, and both of us paid the price. well, in different terms of course. life goes on for you pretty much in a straight line i suppose but for me it's gonna be an uphill task.

i've been on an adventure, for the past three months. something never thought would discover in myself. i'm actually stronger than i thought but at the same time, i learnt how weak i am too.

but i whine much less baby. much less than I was with you. strangely, i miss the complaining.

my gooberest friend told me the other day that you lost someone who made a difference in your life. i realised just how we could have been so much more if only i settled for something less, and if only you had compromised.

we made our decisions and it seems there's really no turning back, is there?

i wanna be in your life if it still matters but i really don't know how. i've never moved on baby and she knows how i feel about you. she knows how much I want you. everyone knows how much you mean to me.

you make my veins pop with your nonsense and all the gay shit which you give me every month we were together. i didn't even make it to the stage to let you see me up there the second time. you know how i could make people smile but you took that away. i don't get that anymore, and you won't either.

but it's never about that actually. you give me the comfort which i sorely miss right now.

Undoubtedly

2009-10-15T08:56:00.000+08:00

Sing my song tonight, the melody's made for you.

Remember how long it took, remember this day.

You're never too weak or too small, so let me just let you know.

That you're more than who you are, that you're more than you can see.

I'll catch you and catch you again.

Take me into your arms.

Know our faults, see our strengths.

I'll be there for you.

Will you be there for me?

I'll be there for you.

Though it hurts deep inside, I just don't wanna hide away from you.

Undoubtedly (Draft) - Najib Siddik

2009-10-10T23:06:00.000+08:00

you look happy..

and I'm happy for you though I can't be happy with you.

Seon-Saeng-Nim

2009-10-08T19:20:00.009+08:00

I feel like puking - right now. I'm on the bus and I feel really dizzy. Now why am I blogging now? Simple - I need to be distracted from the stale air of this vehicle.

I left home earlier than usual to deliver cakes to my customer. It was not a good journey.

I then rushed to work. I haven't eaten since last night's Fillet O' Fish and McFlurry..

And of course, it could only get better. It rained really heavily on the way to the academy. My kids ended up drenched from head to toe and so was I, but it was good bonding drying ourselves up at the restroom.

I think i'm falling ill. But I really can't afford to. I have people to teach.

Another teacher caught and scolded a student for scribbling on the attendance book and then came up to complain to me.

I almost broke into a smile but cleverly concealed it with my raised brows.

Hmm.. What do you expect me to do? Get angry? =)

I guess this is all the affirmation I need for now.

The rest is for keeps. I'm glad I can put a smile on peoples' faces, regardless of where they come from and regardless of what I do - even if it makes me look dumb sometimes.

-End-

2009-10-05T09:55:00.004+08:00

It feels like eternity since you've been here with me.

Hey girl, just smile and you'll be fine.

You tried to picture me. I can't draw to save me life.

But you know that I'll paint you with my songs.

You know it's not easy to love you.

And you know we haven't even tried.

But baby you know exactly what our love can do.

Even if I am torn to pieces, or even when you're not by my side.

I will keep coming back, keep coming back to you.

Time

2009-10-01T22:08:00.005+08:00

Time.

We all wish for more of it.

Some spend it fruitfully, others do not.

If you had three days to live, what would you do?

a) Spend it with loved ones.

b) Work to earn your last dollar.

c) Pray.

d) Facebook. (wtf?!)

It's 2212, and I just got off work and now thinking of going back to bake as I've more orders coming in.

I realised how dependent I am. I have an entire bottle of water in my bag, left untouched. I actually need people to remind me to drink and eat. But I've no one to do that for me.

'O' Levels

2009-09-29T22:32:00.005+08:00

Not the right place to post, but here goes.

English Language Tuition - $40/hr per student.

Group Tuition Negotiable.

Social Studies - $40/hr per student.

Group Tuition Negotiable.

Only available on weekends Saturday (2pm onwards) and Sunday (2pm onwards) cos I'm totally booked on weekdays.

Will be available on weekdays from 15th October onwards.

I can't work miracles but I can help.

Goober Butter and Jelly Sandwich.

2009-09-28T22:26:00.005+08:00

The list below is non-exhaustive. Replace *goober* with expletives.

Lessons in life:

1) People only remember you if they choose to do so, or if they still give a shit about you. If they don't, then goober move on because they have probably done so before you.

2) People are nice to you when they need your assistance, or because they think you can benefit them. If you are not of any use anymore, then they will tell you to goober off.

3) Time. Love. Affection. Etc. Etc. Never give too much of this to a single person - because the moment they goober off, you will feel like goober.

4) Learn how to stand on your own two feet. Because at the end of the day, you have your own goober to clear. Do It Yourself. There is no such thing as a gooberest friend.

Sigh.. I think I'm just so mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted that I feel like shit everyday without realising. I'm too caught up faking my smile that even if it's plastic, it actually seems real. Somehow I'm picking up more random, small conversations with people I don't know on the bus or train than engaging in deep, intellectual discussions with people close to me. Call me superficial, but honestly I've risked too much of my heart and mind to even think of giving more of me to anyone ever again.

But I guess it's OK because this is life and even if I'm at my breaking point, I am still not broken. You can't kill the dead.

Shaughnessy

2009-09-27T00:31:00.004+08:00

I can't sleep. Feeling really lost, lonely and anxious. Perhaps it's because of what's coming up tomorrow and what I was told about people from the "Middle Kingdom."

Was looking through the online street directory for The Shaughnessy. How do I get there? It's in a very remote area in Yishun. I MUST NOT BE LATE.

Played around with the Street Directory just to navigate myself around Singapore and I came across many places which I frequented throughout my life. Truth is, I'm really bad with maps and paperback street directories. And I don't have the luxury of travelling around Singapore in a car so the online street directory is cool for me.

But the best part is that I get to see all parts of Singapore and somehow it brings me closer psychologically to people who are apart from me.

I'm miss people far too easily. Soon, everyone's going away.

I just love this song by 311, and 50 First Dates is one of my favourite movies. Well, you can never go wrong with Sandler.

Freedom Hurts

2009-09-25T14:03:00.002+08:00

Looking at the rain, I felt my soul and spirit wash away. Not caring about anything or anyone, I circled around and found myself singing and strumming on this dazzling stage.

But the stage - it has no audience.

I fell and blood dripped from my knees. I could not stop what I was doing. I felt the rain against my skin and slowly but surely I lifted myself up. I went higher and higher and I saw the city beneath me drowning in the pouring rain.

Now I am free, but why does freedom hurt?

Because I'm not with the one I love.

What more..?

2009-09-23T23:22:00.004+08:00

One loss after another. I've reached perhaps the lowest point in my life. Happy?

And I realize there is really no substitute to what you have given to me and what I have given to you. Yes, there will never be another like you. Never. And for you, there will never be another, like me. As much as you hate to admit it, it's your loss as much as mine.

Sometimes I feel disgusted just by the thought of you but most of the time, I think back and reflect on what we've been through and it just makes me smile.

It's a love-hate relationship. My dream has always been to be with you but there is really no way we can be together anymore.

There is really no way.

But what can I do? You have chosen to leave me and now I am left with nothing.

I thought that I have moved on. But I was so wrong. So very wrong. Moving away does not mean moving on.

And the way the world moves. It's just so freaking fast. I can't catch up. But then again, what exactly am I chasing? I really don't know what I'm looking for. I've tried praying. I've tried reflection. I've tried almost everything. What more should I do? What more can I do?

I'm trying to resist but the harder I try to forget all about you, the more I think about sinking back to where it all started - my heart.

Sublime

2009-09-05T18:33:00.006+08:00

Retract our hands, is this justified?

Or is it just your conclusion?

We feared the worst, but hoped much for the best.

Was it all an illusion?

Your ways still stand, old habits die so hard.

I left a key to my window.

One word - Repent. It's easier said than done.

So you wanna control me?

Sublime. Sublime.

I'm trying hard to read between the lines.

Just one more time.

Sublime. Sublime.

I'm trying hard to break into your light.

Just one more time.

Yeah..

I'm watching you watch over me. Are you tired of my face?

Stop whining baby, I'm going crazy while I try to make amends.

I've fallen to your grace, but you're telling me to leave.

Release me slowly, believe me baby, stop throwing stones at me.

At me..

And if you really know me, you know that I still care.

I give a shit to all the things that you do.

We're running round in circles, in lines that never end.

They never intersect with you.

I'm sick and tired of this.

I'm not sick and tired of you.

So tell me what to do..

Sublime (Acoustic) - Najib Siddik

Food for Comfort

2009-08-29T20:25:00.000+08:00

I love..

And

Cream

Grief

2009-08-26T22:59:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling damn low today.. damn low..

Avenue Six

2009-08-24T00:12:00.005+08:00

Just returned home from jamming. It has been a long time.

Completed 'Wash It Away' which was written this afternoon, with a nice touch of angst. The band hit the mark in the bringing out the emotions of the song the way it should be. Too bad I didn't bring my recording stuff..

'Otherside' was bad, really bad..

Played Rooftops, Beside You, and Gravity for fun. Will probably work on either of the three next.

Some updates: Ave6 will be reforming to a four piece band probably in two weeks time, which means I probably have to play the guitar again. Jason's enlisting in September. :(

Now, go sleep lah..

Wash It Away

2009-08-23T09:26:00.005+08:00

To let me in your life is harder than it was before -I'm trying to protect you.

Admit I've lost control, it's not as if it was my choice - I never meant to leave you.

I've given up my scene, I've given up reality to lay the path ahead of you.

I know it makes no sense, but spare a thought to how I feel if it matters to you..

Wash it away, wash it away, wash it away

Let the rain revive you.

Broken inside, broken inside, broken inside

Ever since you pushed me down.

Wash it away, wash it away, wash it away

Let the rain revive you now. Let the rain revive you now.

I see you in my dreams. So tell me what I need to hear - Your subtleties they kill me.

Should I disappear, and what exactly should I do? I can never be around you.

I'm stuck without a voice. I've given up my dignity to be the man who loves you.

I know it makes no sense, I'll spare a thought to how you feel cause you matter to me.

Wash It Away (Acoustic) - Najib Siddik

** Return of Avenue Six - Tonight

Regional Rock

2009-08-22T07:13:00.006+08:00

I've been listening to the following songs over the past few days just to open up to fresh melodies.

From Thailand:

Glua by Nologo

Glua by Palmy

From Philippines:

Sabihin Mo Na by Top Suzara

Sabihin Mo Na by Yeng Constantino

Education

2009-08-21T19:57:00.003+08:00

Teach me how to love.. and live.

It's a cold night. I've never felt this lonely.

Believe me, I'm just as lost as you.

Trust

2009-08-16T21:31:00.003+08:00

We are living in the Time of Instaparency, when everything is instantly known, transparently. Such moment-to-moment awareness of all that's going on everywhere produces alterations in perspective that start dominoes falling all over the place..

- Walsch

During one of my conversations with X, she read to me a quote from Neale Walsch's When Everything Changes, Change Everything.

She told me how bad I am at keeping secrets, especially my own. Well, I could only agree. And I could only hope that I am better when it comes to covering up for others.

Over the past month, I have 'changed' in many ways where the naked eye cannot see. I hope this change can be sustained, with HIS guidance and the support of my close ones.

People have also asked me how I am. For those who are truly concerned - I'm coping..

I have been thinking of closing down this blog only because it has moved away from its essence - Acoustic music written in the comfort of my bedroom. It has become too personal and purists of bedroomacoustic (not many) find it a turn-off.

Maybe it's time I compartmentalise my thoughts, emotions and music. But it's hard to separate them because my songs are reflections of my thoughts and emotions.

"Can you write me a song?"

When all is said and done..

2009-08-14T20:13:00.004+08:00

This evening, I decided to drop by AMK Banquet for my usual helping of fish soup. The stall auntie was quick to recognise me as the one who normally orders sliced fish soup with rice and additional fish. This time round, however, I ordered fried fish soup with noodles. She was caught off-guard, and I actually saw her picking up pieces of sliced fish and getting ready to put it in my clean bowl. That was when I realised how much routine our lives can be. We are so used to being within our comfort zone that even the slightest change would hurt us, what more a major one.

About a month ago, I was at the same spot with a 'friend' at around 2030 talking about 'life' and 'changes to come'. It was a serious conversation, and all that followed suit was just.. I rather not think about it. And I clearly remember not having the appetite at all to finish up my Long John Silver combo 1.

All that aside, somehow, fried fish tastes a little bit better. Hmmm..

Too bad all I have with me now is a picture of an empty bowl.. Well, its better than nothing.

Anger

2009-08-13T18:49:00.002+08:00

I'm angry, as much as I try hard not to be.

The good thing is that anger keeps me awake, and it gives me a brand of fire I can never get elsewhere.

Still, the negative energy consumes every part of me internally - to the point where I may snap when provoked.

You say you want more - I'll give you MORE.

2009-08-12T15:48:00.001+08:00

i miss missing you..

Contradictions

2009-08-11T21:37:00.002+08:00

I'm grateful, yet hungry for more..

I'm contented, yet empty..

I'm hopeless, yet wishful..

I'm looking forward, yet hesitant..

I'm well-rested, yet weary..

Then again, it's not about me. It's always about you. Yes, about you. I've shouldered all I could for now before my back's gonna break. Do you really need everyone to turn their back against me before you feel satisfied? Do you really need that?

There's no such thing as time anymore when day and night are just markers to deceive us that we're moving on - when in actuality, everything else remains the same.

Razorblack

2009-08-10T18:46:00.001+08:00

My hair's really short now. Really, really short..

And now I'm regretting it.

2009-08-09T00:24:00.001+08:00

i can't sleep.

Back to Good

2009-08-07T10:15:00.009+08:00

DAD

HOME

MONSTER

LOVE

On the way home from NUS yesterday, I went to NTUC to grab some things. I could hear some faint music playing in the background. Collide was on so I stayed on to listen. Surprisingly, as much as I like that song, I never really had the mp3 on my laptop or player.

It was then that I realised how much I miss the times when Don would harmonize with me. He would go "The harmonization is crazy.." in his very deep voice.

That said, I left NTUC empty handed.

Cutting Out

2009-08-05T09:20:00.012+08:00

Euthanasia is supposed to be painless.

But what happens if you feel the pain?

Do doctors feel the pain subjected to their patients?

I wonder..

Ask yourself, how much have things changed?

How much have you changed?

On my part, I'll never be the same..

My 'baby' will be born this Friday.

Too bad daddy can't be there..

________________________

I've been taking the MRT more often now and each time I'm on board, I get the weird feeling of being a student all over again. Why? Maybe it's because students are mostly broke and have to resort to taking public transport no matter how tired they are from school. And of course, there is such a thing called 'Concession Pass', which provided me with unlimited bus rides.

The familiar journey towards Bukit Batok reminds me of the time when I would read on the train just to kill time. I close my eyes and remember how I used to work really hard through the night trying to finish up all my readings and typing out my essays way ahead of the deadlines so that I could have more time to revise. Well, I had to do so, as I was not the smartest in my cohort. But then again, I was not overly hardworking let alone geeky either.

Truth is, I just love to study. I love education.

Speechless

2009-08-04T20:57:00.002+08:00

I've lost inspiration to even say anything here.

And I've grown so insular because it's getting really difficult to trust people with your word and life nowadays.

If anything, I've learnt my lesson.

Break the Chain

2009-08-02T03:30:00.002+08:00

I just got home, from a sudden 3AM craving for McDonald's (which does not happen very often at all). My sis was verbally attacked by an insane woman when all she did was try to squeeze chilli out of the dispenser. The two of us were also greeted by an old man in a cap who sat right in front of us, just to stare at us while we eat. I was much disturbed by his presence.

Well, that's not the whole point of this entry, especially for something blog-worthy at this unearthly hour.

I actually like talking to my sis.

Rooftops

2009-07-31T18:24:00.008+08:00

A little boy once had a dream, a dream held in his eyes.

He wanted to be good someday, he longed to make it right.

A little girl held in her hands a lump of clay and sand.

She tried to wash it all away, she wondered what it meant.

She took his heart and gave it all, whatever that she could.

He kept her waiting, thinking twice. Pain never felt so good.

Along the way, he lost his life and all he ever had.

But she's evergreen. She's everything.

Remind me, please remind me of the times I've spent just staring back at you.

At the place where we once knew.

Believe me, that I'm sorry. My bad for all the things I've put you through.

I've never walked away from you.

Standing still against the wind, against the test of time.

Hoping that he can go on despite the hurt inside.

Moving on, she can't be seen without him by her side.

Wishing that it's all a dream, a nightmare in disguise.

He wrote a letter in her heart of things he felt so true.

She misses all the things they've shared, a tale that's misconstrued.

Along the way, she lost her soul, she never felt so used.

But she's evergreen. She's everything.

Rooftops (Acoustic) - Najib Siddik

25 Minutes

2009-07-30T15:58:00.004+08:00

The first time I ever sang in front of an audience was back in Primary Six during a school excursion to Penang. I sang the song below..

It wasn't cute..

Heroes

2009-07-29T02:34:00.004+08:00

Just got back from Tan Tock Seng hospital. A family member of mine is currently undergoing surgery. May God's love and blessing be with him.

While waiting for 2 odd hours just to fill up the application forms, I observed how selfless nurses and admin people working in hospitals are. It's not easy dealing with impatient and rude people. It's not easy facing verbal abuse while you're on the job.

Oh, and for now.. I hope my immunity system is strong enough to withstand H1N1..

2009-07-28T22:41:00.002+08:00

TAN TOCK SENG...AND Y IS THE CAB SO SLOW?

4pm nap.

2009-07-28T16:02:00.002+08:00

.gniritosebnacgnikabwonktndidi

Candle in the Night

2009-07-24T23:12:00.003+08:00

Dear diary,
Seems that I have lost, nothing but my everything.
I’m bruised and cut up all inside, I bleed you when I’m dreaming.
I should be sleeping through my life, cause I’m a dead man walking.
Will I be born again in you, or will I die trying?

To hide, to run, to let go of the sun
To hide, to run, to let go of the one

I’m melting right before your eyes, like a candle in the night
I’m freezing every time I think of whatever’s left in me
Without you, I cannot breathe
I cannot breathe

Staring at the broken glass in you, reflections of my inner self
One week has passed, there’s nothing left. I’m sitting on the edge of life
Your words can never feel me out, my lies can never bring you down
I live to sing my words to you, or will I die trying?

To hide, to run, to let go of the sun
To hide, to run, to let go of the one

I’m melting right before your eyes, like a candle in the night
I’m freezing every time I think of whatever’s left in me
Without you, I cannot breathe
I cannot breathe

Candle in the Night - Najib Siddik

Slower

2009-06-29T18:34:00.001+08:00

If words could kill, then you would have murdered me by now.
If not, then just kill me now.

Gravity

2009-06-23T08:29:00.004+08:00

Let's make a sound louder than love.
Pierce through my eyes. I don't care if it hurts.
Breathe in the air and look at the sky.
We'll find our way back down to this earth.

We've come too close.
We've gone too far.
When the night's too dark, give me light, give me light.

You gave me wings. Together we soar.
For all that we have, is it worth so much more?
It's a long, long way down from where I am.
So carry me down and catch when I fall.

We've come too close.
We've gone too far.
When the night's too dark, give me light, give me light.

When I'm high, bring me down.
Pull my feet to the ground.
Now you're here, disappear.
Cover up my fears
When we're open enough to show what's inside, we're innocent.
You're my gravity.
You're my gravity...

Takes a lot to remember, takes a lot to remember this.
Takes a lot to remember, takes a lot to remember me.

Gravity (Acoustic Draft) - Najib Siddik

Sorry

2009-06-21T10:06:00.004+08:00

I said I’m sorry
There’s nothing left to say other than I’m sorry
This song it makes no sense.
I think I’m sorry. I think I’m sorry.
Anyway.

Said you can’t feel me
Was it anything I did? Baby please I’m sorry.
Was it something that I said?
Babe please I’m sorry. I think I’m sorry.
Anyway.

So hide your insecurities
I know it’s hard but I believe that when I look into your eyes, there’s nothing that we can’t achieve
I’m half the man I used to be
Without you, no, I can’t be me

Well I know you miss me
Even when I wreck your brains
The leaves are falling, and the waves are crashing in
You’re still beside me, you’re still beside me
Anyway

I tried to be mean.
And you laughed so hard I slipped.
You tried to be me, but you ended like a wimp
I think we’re crazy, I think we’re crazy
Everyday

Sorry (Acoustic) - Najib Siddik

i love you, man.

2009-06-19T23:23:00.002+08:00

sometimes loving just aint enough.

Toss and Turn

2009-05-28T01:03:00.001+08:00

Can't sleep. I hate this feeling.

Listen

2009-05-28T00:19:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. I guess all it takes is a pair of ears, a brain, a little effort and empathy.
I hope we can all manage that.
Just need to practice that's all.. I hope..

Swagger

2009-05-27T20:07:00.001+08:00

I can't seem to find a reason to be myself anymore.

Blurry

2009-05-21T01:01:00.001+08:00

Can you take it all away?

Beside You

2009-05-17T10:50:00.011+08:00

We're floating in the wind and your lips touch my skin.
Are we dreaming? Are we dreaming?
I hear your voice screaming. Your laughter. You breathe
Through the silence. Through the violence.

You break through these walls and you hate how you smile
We're running too fast. When you're clumsy, I fall
You grabbed my right hand. Am I holding too tight?

You miss me when I'm right beside you.

Walking through the night, we go up and go down
This is crazy, it's so crazy
You fall asleep beside me but I'm gone in the morning.
Just maybe, only maybe.

You break through these walls and I love how you sound
We're falling too deep. When you leave me, I drown
You run through my hair. Do you need me tonight?

You miss me when I'm right beside you.

You miss me when I'm over here and you're there
This pain that we bear is breaking us down somehow
Believe in ourselves, there's nothing to fear
As long as you're by my side.

Beside You (Acoustic) - Najib Siddik

Lie

2009-05-13T17:03:00.000+08:00

I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart.

Untitled

2009-05-06T23:38:00.001+08:00

Whatever you do, I'll be two steps behind you.

Untitled

2009-05-05T23:48:00.001+08:00

We are believers in the magic we create.

Let Me In

2009-05-05T22:29:00.004+08:00

Blue skies remind me of you
Take one step at a time
Regrets are never useful
And we can’t turn back time

Momma said you smile in your sleep
If only I could dream of you
Your lips they feel like velvet
And your breath gives me a clue

And if you let me, and if you want me
I’ll be watching over you tonight

And I….
Wanna be your strength, keep you strong when you’re feeling weak inside
Be your voice, when you’re out of touch with life
Oh…
Be the fire that keeps you warm at night
Be the bout of love that hits you thrice
Oh….
So let me in

Most words are insufficient
To tell you how I feel
But in my declaration
Even silence feels so real

Let Me In - Najib

Fade

2009-05-05T20:58:00.002+08:00

I’m fading away
I’m fading away
I feel so confused
I’m losing my youth

I’m fading away
I’m fading away
Blackened and blue
And you’re not amused

Don’t keep bottling your vengeance
Don’t keep making empty sounds
Don’t refuse what you can handle
Don’t forget my broken frown

I’m fading away
I’m fading away
Depleted and dry
I’ve ran out of lines

I’m fading away
I’m fading away
My hair’s turning grey
And everything’s lame

Fade Away

Fade - Najib Siddik

Simon Says

2009-05-04T23:39:00.004+08:00

Here I am
With no brilliant plans
I’m stuck in the wall again
There you are
Wondering where I’ve been
Or who I was with till ten

There’s a million things I know we could do
And so many places I rather be with you
But exactly what’s our purpose of being far apart
When probably our mission is being close at heart

Simon says, Do anything you please
Simon says, Do everything to me
Simon says, Don’t ever break your heart
Don’t break my heart, Simon didn’t say.

To be continued...

Simon Says - Najib Siddik

Untitled

2009-05-04T22:29:00.002+08:00

:( outside, :) inside.
:) outside, :( inside.

Perfect

2009-05-02T08:32:00.000+08:00

The stars in your eyes, they brighten up the sky
Sitting by the steps, catching fireflies
Staring at the moon, wishing we could fly
Dancing to the tune of songs that wouldn’t rhyme

It’s so perfect, it’s so perfect tonight
Babe it’s perfect, it’s so perfect

Tonight, I’ll give myself to you
And you’ll give yourself to me
And together we’ll be free
Tonight, I’ll make your wish come true
And you’ll promise to be true
And together we’ll be free completely...

To be continued...

I feel you

2009-04-22T03:19:00.024+08:00

I feel you by the tip of my dreams
Where nothing is impossible and everything is green
It's us against the world in every waking hour
Every perfect moment within every imperfection

I feel you by the very beat of my heart
Where you live in both comfort and insecurity
It's us against ourselves in a world we call our own
Every spoken word within every minute of silence

I feel you by the magic you create
Where I exist in both delusion and reality
It's us against our conscience in a path we choose to take
Every common step within every stride apart

I feel you by the warmth of your touch
Where everything is real and nothing is imagined
It's us against time in every move we make
Everything is assuring and everything feels complete.

Walk on Grass

2009-04-16T22:25:00.004+08:00

Cut my tongue each time you bite deeper in my mind
Just turn and look away
I know you're sore. It's not my fault you're trying far too hard
To make her lose herself

Let's settle the score, once and for all
Let's end this thing now, stop reaching for more

If I could walk on grass, while you're lying on a bed of stones
If I could lie to you, that you're crashing to your bones
If I could walk on grass, while you're hanging by the edge of your throne
If I could rid of you, cause you'll never leave her alone
Just leave her alone.

Open wounds and false attempts to reach beneath my guise
You think you understand
Just be yourself and don't pretend to be what you are not
To make her want you more

Let's settle the score, once and for all
Let's end this thing now, there's reason for war

It's pretty obvious you're doing this on purpose.
For what reason?
I don't know.

Lacking

2009-04-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

Everything seems to fall short lately..

Just stop it, please.

2009-04-08T22:48:00.004+08:00

Stop telling me what to do, or what I should wear.
Stop talking to me like i'm your new found friend, when you don't even care.
Stop asking me questions when you already know.
Stop begging me for attention when I'm already low.
Stop blaming your friends for things that they've done.
Stop sitting on my table because I've given you one.
Stop saying I'm good-looking because I don't think you mean it.
Stop pretending you're weak and in need of my pity.
Just stop it, please. You're making me think that I've made a mistake.
For choosing this path which I've always wanted to take.

Full Frowning Glory

2009-04-06T20:54:00.002+08:00

Somehow a hard-earned frown from a special person feels much better than any other fake smiles people give away for free all day...

Perfume

2009-04-06T20:20:00.004+08:00

Wrap your arms around my neck
So I can tell everyone where we were last night
So darling, dance with me

Your pictures fade from black to white
Underneath the morning sky
Darling, dance with me

So sleep tight
Start, stop, play, pause and rewind
With lights bright, you can't hide
Feed me with your lies

You left doors wide open, like a prom party turned bad
But your scent, it still lingers
Though you left me so mad

Slide my hands off your dress
As you stood to confess
So baby, where are you?

Pushing candles through the crowd
And the music's far too loud
Baby, where were you?

She sits all alone by the porch

AVENUE SIX @ F.A.D. MEDIA

2009-04-03T00:27:00.010+08:00

Come catch Avenue Six in action! Join us in our gig at F.A.D. MEDIA on Sunday, 12th April 2009 at 1900hrs!

F.A.D. MEDIA is located at:
73 Bussorah Street
Singapore 199486
Tel: 92923234

Take the SMRT to Bugis MRT Station and walk down to Arab Street.
See you there!!

2009-03-31T21:23:00.001+08:00

heart pain

5.13

2009-03-14T05:16:00.011+08:00

Where every waking hour is a nightmare, every dream is an escape from reality.
Where every waking hour is bliss, every dream just breaks me down.

Then again, which is which?
I really don't know.

I just woke up from a dream:
An old man sits on a stool at an unfamiliar tunnel in town, playing Eagle's Hotel California. He laughed at me as I walked past. Then, I received a message from an old friend. It says, "She lied about you. Come on." And just before I could reply, I was transported to 1/8's classroom treating the kids pizza again. What..

Hmm.. Weird.

It was then that I concluded that dreams are portals where you talk to people you've never met, never existed, or can never talk to again (e.g. those who have passed/moved on etc).

Or do things you never thought you could.

Crossroads

2009-03-13T16:28:00.001+08:00

Bombs away
Dropping shellshocks in my head
Shooting coloured bullets through my weakened core

Everything
Every word that you have said
Declarations of the wounded in demand

Pre-Chorus
I’ll stop myself
I’ll buy me time
But I won’t forget you babe

You left me dead
You’ve won this war
I’m tongue-tied, I’ve nothing to say

Chorus
So take me to the point where you are now
Where everything’s white and gray
And I’ll be waiting for your truce and vow
No matter how, come what may

Read me now
Once again, I screwed it up
The voices in my head they tell me to move on

Left or right
The roads are broken. Don’t remind
Me of the truth ahead or things we’ll never have

Sigh...

Crossroads - Najib

Wish You Were Here

2009-03-08T09:10:00.000+08:00

In this moment, I am happy.. Happy.. :)

Like a Rainbow

2009-02-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

You add colour to my world of black, white and gray..

2009-02-23T20:17:00.000+08:00

I like the way how my ego makes up for the lack of my self-esteem.

Thinking of You (Katy Perry Cover)

2009-02-08T14:40:00.006+08:00

For Azie:
Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one but i still got the seed

You said move on, where do i go?
I guess that second best is all i will know

Cause when im with her i am thinking of you, thinking of you
What would I do if
You were the one who was spending the night
Oh i wish that i was looking into your eyes

Thinking of You (Cover) - Katy Perry

Frena

2009-02-08T10:23:00.004+08:00

Tell me how did we get here.
Tell me if I'm just a passerby.
Tell me why I feel your fear.
Tell me why I shiver when you cry.

The curtain calls, the fading lights.
Every dream of you, I'll hold inside.
And when you cry, I'll wipe your tears.
We'll grow together, in a different time.

We'll never be the same.
We'll never be the same.

(Frena), It's in your name.

Frena (Acoustic) - Najib

Frena

2009-02-07T08:33:00.001+08:00

There.
There she sat still
At the centre of the stage
Her name was Frena.

By her beauty, I was captivated.
By her eyes, I was spellbound.
Her name was Frena.

I woke up, only to realise that it was all a dream.
Why Frena, were you born from a different time?
Why Frena, did I not remember your last name?

Writer's Block

2009-01-31T09:47:00.004+08:00

For a long time, it was the lack of inspiration.
For a short while, it was the death of my music.
For now, it's the fear of exaggeration.

Music

2009-01-25T18:23:00.005+08:00

Darling, why oh why?
You caught me by surprise
Beyond what's left inside
I'll try to find what's right

In my songs, you live
In my words, you breathe

The way back home feels a thousand miles without you
I’ll take one step at a time
Time is moving far too fast
But my heart it stops with you

In my songs you live
In my words you breathe
Time is moving far too fast
But my heart it stops with you

Music (Acoustic).mp3 - Najib

Close My Eyes

2009-01-23T21:05:00.007+08:00

And I thought that you could sense my emptiness
A slap on my face
I don’t deserve this

In your heart my words they have no relevance
The blood on my face
You bruised my only

Chance for survival, (I) won’t revive
I’ll be a shadow with no mind
If that’s what you want
If that’s what you need

So close my eyes
And let me slide away
From your life I’ll disappear
Never hear from me again

So close my eyes
And make me blind
I don’t wanna waste your time
Never hear from me again

And I thought that I could be your guiding light
But in darkness I thrive
You don’t deserve this

I have to be cruel to be kind
You think too lowly of me now
It’s not what I want
It’s not what I need

Chorus

Close My Eyes (Acoustic) - Mohd Najib

More Than You Know

2009-01-18T09:14:00.010+08:00

We’re running out of time
Can we make it?
I hear your heartbeat from a distance
I turned around but you’re not there

Baby it’s alright
To go on
The sacrifices we have made
Putting ourselves on the line

Now, why can’t you see that I’m still holding to what we’ve built
Hide my jealousy
I’m holding back, I’m faking strength

More than you, more than you will know
More than you, more than you
My feelings won’t show
More than you, more than you will know
In my final prayer you’re there

You know I feel the pain
Do you trust me?
I heard you call me from a distance
I turned around and saw your smile

Baby it’s not fair
All along
It’s selfish but I just can’t bear
To see you with another man

Now, why can’t you see that girl you’re still the one for me
Set my feelings free
I won't let go, I love you more yeah

Chorus

In my final prayer you're there

More Than You Know (Acoustic).mp3 -

Inspiration

2009-01-11T16:43:00.006+08:00

You’re my inspiration
You sweeten up my life
I’ll give you dedication
If you learn to compromise

So save tomorrow for me
I’ll remember you for life
At times you think you’re ugly
But damn you’re beautiful inside

Oh yeah, woah, ah hah
Oh yeah, woah, ah hah

So keep smiling and shining
You’re like a star in the sky
You’re amazing in the morning
And you look wonderful tonight
And if I ever fall to pieces or crumble deep inside
I guess I’ll never know this
Is that right? That's right
Never let me go

Key to my survival
You feed me with your light
The skies they speak of sadness
Over things that’s left undone

So take away my weakness
Let love and hate collide
At times I’m lost and lonely
But then you fill me up inside

Inspiration (Acoustic) - Najib Siddik

Won't Let You Down

2009-01-01T22:07:00.001+08:00

The train halts, a screeching sound
It’s getting late, my bag’s twenty pounds
I fell asleep in class again
You heard my name, detention’s a pain

Struggling hard just for a pass
I’m sure 25 out of 50’s not bad
All these books are hurting my brain
I’m not a genius and geeks are lame

It didn’t take long for me to realise
That life is but a journey, a mountain I must climb
Still learning, still yearning
Its time

Give me opportunity, a chance to prove myself
I will try my very best and fight till the end
I promise I won’t let you down

It’s 2 ‘o clock, saved by the bell
My History teacher’s straight from hell
Writing essays, one by one
Procrastinate, I should be done by now

Chorus

Wont Let You Down - Mohd Najib

Tears from a Vampire

2008-12-30T11:14:00.003+08:00

Shadows overcast the ground as I spread my wings for you
Inspired by the very sound of your voice that speaks the truth
Your scent it lingers in the air, how I wish that you were here
How I wish that you were here with me

Tears from a vampire
Block me from the sun
Tears from a vampire
Am I the only one who makes you think that you can fly?
Do I make you feel alive?
You make me feel alive again

Loving you is bittersweet, I crave for just one kiss
The angels speak, the angels cry. I’m a fallen angel now.
I held you close, I pulled you near, yet its wrong for me to care
It’s so wrong for me to care for you

Chorus

I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore
I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore

Tears from a Vampire (Acoustic).mp3 -

Only One For Me

2008-12-10T22:01:00.005+08:00

You don't even know that I exist

But I've got you at the top of my list

Why do you have to tell those lies?

When you're the apple of my eyes

Love is to simple a word to express how I feel for you

I dreamt so many nights but will my dreams come true?

When I look into your eyes, I realise that you're the only one for me

**Again, I forgot the 2nd verse and bridge... This was written and recorded on tape in 2000. Yes, the kind you play on a Walkman. I know its a cheesy song but as far as I can recall, some of my school mates loved it. :)

No Return

2008-12-10T21:48:00.003+08:00

Cup runneth over

The universe calls me

It hurts my eyes to see it

It hurts my mouth to say it

The rain engulfs me

Psycho-analysing me

You know that I am broken

Like a wheel that wont turn

By the turning sun, by the turning sun, by the turning sun

There is no return

The tunnel it has no light

In the end, we all die out

Too late, too soon

To run and hide away

When the messenger comes, there is no return

**Darn... I totally forgot the 2nd verse. Back in 1999, I performed this song with my first band 'Stormy Passage (what a stupid name... haha...) at Youth Park. We were clad in white shirt and khaki pants (like a boy band! hahahaha...) We redeemed ourselves by playing an improved version at SAJC family day in 2000.

The City Never Sleeps

2008-12-09T21:09:00.004+08:00

Your coffee’s getting cold
And I think I’m getting old
As I wait to see you here
I can feel that you’re sincere

Underneath the darkened skies
I sing to you this lullaby
You know the city never sleeps
From faraway I hear you weep

Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Baby don’t cry

You’re my angel in disguise
You know you brighten up my life
Keep me safe and keep me warm
In the cold December night

Though I turned and walked away
Rest assured its not goodbye
I’m just waiting for the day
For the day you’re in my arms

Don’t cry
Don’t cry
Baby don’t cry

Goodnight
Goodnight
Goodnight

The City Never Sleeps - Mohd Najib

Falling Down

2008-12-08T11:47:00.002+08:00

Slipping through my fingers once again

You crawl through my veins

You got me hypnotised

Standing still against the test of time

Well I'll never know the meaning of this song

But with every line, I hope to keep you strong

Cause I am falling down

Falling from the sky

No wings to keep me flying

I'll go easy on the lying

Cause I... I am falling down

But I won't die

I won't die... No...

I Miss You (Like Crazy)

2008-11-30T20:39:00.004+08:00

Are you tired of running?
Are you tired of chasing all your dreams?
You know how I feel

I’m your breeding ground of hatred
I’m your perfect sense of comfort
It all depends on how you perceive

I can’t define
I can’t explain everything I say

I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy

I’m your silent wheel of fortune
Complicated, maladjusted
It’s difficult, it’s difficult, it’s difficult

Pre Chorus

Chorus

Preview:

I Miss You (Like Crazy) - Mohd Najib